Our world began with learning through an array of struggle on every occasions and moments. Today we see the world that is developing, and still, we are working towards learning things on a daily basis. Similarly, there is plenty of opportunities for changing viewpoints and seeing the world uniquely than what we think from our world of mindset, biases, and judgments through the diversity of society, culture, and traditions.
NATURE & NURTURE
As humans, it is normal to have the negative things coming into mind. Majority of the time, negativity what we think is not. Every positive thing or moment origin has hidden negative pavement that brings opportunities if taken as a source of knowledge and not thinking ill. It is a mindset, habits, cultures or environment around us that brings the waves of pessimism.
Francis Galton, a psychologist, said that "Personality is composed of elements from two different sources; Nature which is inborn and inherited while Nurture is what experienced from birth forward. We can improve our skills and abilities through training and learning, but nature sets the limits on how far it can develop our talents. Nature and Nurture both play a part, but nature is the determining factor," and further he said, "humans are born equal like a clean slate, as the time goes Nurture pay into the role."
In other words, human born with positivity in their mind. Everyone has the influences by habits, cultures, and environment around; it does not mean that we can not go back and align self with nature, means become or trying to be the one when we were born. The good news is our nature always wins irrespective of the time or situations we born in and recognizing forces of nurture that create negativity, would help to get away. However, Most psychologist agrees that both nature and nurture are essential in forming a personality, and intelligence is inherited but must foster through education.
COUNT BLESSINGS
We often overlook what we have, and our focus is stolen away on the things that are not good which makes us sad and pathetic rather than pleasant and happy. Why! Because we have hands to write, legs to walk, eyes to see and mind to think. In the absence or minor discrepancies in any single sense may turn life into an unpleasant position and in such, it does not matter how wealthy, beautiful or famous we are in the world.
One of the greatest blessings we enjoy is having someone taking care of including parents, siblings, relatives, and friends. There are many unfortunate children do not have their caretaker. Parents fill the first teacher roles for children, and by born with having parents fulfill one of the greatest blessings; which everyone should take account. As per psychology science, first two years after child born are extremely important for the child in all aspects of physical and mental growth and development. Another thing to consider is, born healthy as there are many kids born with disabilities or lack of neutrons which may require continuous and lifetime care. Few minutes of power or internet disruptions make us nervous because we are not trained to believe that what we have is and we accustom with comfort and not reflecting which many of us do not have it.
If we have a reasonably good sleep in the night, we must be considering grateful as many functions in our body are programmed to do lots of hard work when we sleep. Blood pressure and breathing slow down which allows the deeper sleep. Allowing repair of muscles and tissues, Convert food into the bloodstream which helps to coordinate and distributing of blood on the different parts of the body while we sleep. Waste removal system kicks on in the brain which will process and filter out all daytime information and get ready for the next day after fully recycled. The body slows and cools down during sleeping state. Body locks and cannot move while sleeping which eliminates all-day activities, in other words, it does not allow to walk, ride a bicycle, thinking about family, work, society or politics which is greatest blessings. It is easy to test, just by not sleeping for a night and imagine, how severe the next day will be. May have heard that children need proper sleep to have proper growth as during sleep, there are many hormones to play a role in shaping the body, develop the brain. There are many sick people around us having issues with the suffering of not good night sleep. If we were responsible for doing all these functions, then we may be busy working on these rather than focusing on other important goals such as education, marriage, professions, recreations, society, science or politics in the daytime.
OPENNESS
There are many stages in life that allow our heart to shrink or expand regarding transparency. Human gets impacted since birth that changes the way of thinking. A person of today may be an entirely different person tomorrow. Human is inbuilt with flexibility, rationalization, and following ethical and moral behavior. One day without lunch can be disastrous, the second day will be a little difficult and the third day, human and body get trained with having night supper only and no lunch. It does not take long to rationalize our mind and body as long as having a mental will and openness in our thoughts.
"If you need encouragement, praise, pats on the back from everybody, then you make everybody your judge" as mentioned in the book; Ego Hunger and Aggression by Fritz Perls.
Opinion differs among siblings, twins, and people of the same origin. There is nothing wrong in it, and it is okay to have such different views. Successful work comes with mixtures of different opinions. The educational or a professional level, teamwork skill has been becoming bare minimum needs for qualifications. The bravery is not opposing and pushing out from the ground mentality. Instead, courage lies in accepting criticism to become more productive. The hardest things to do is not shoot or turn down someone, instead of taking HARSHNESS WITH CALMNESS. There are many successful examples proven in the world history that benefited the people who dealt with patience. Brain scans, analyze and calibrate all time. Openness in thinking will bring unlimited opportunities with the optimum outcome.
Hitler's fascination with death is a perfect example of how his brain let him do the things which ended up with destruction, that is the excellent example of close-minded people.
Think about any smart technology or tools available in the market; there is nothing comparable to the brain which gives billions of possibilities, that means nothing in the brain which restricting us exploring ideas, options, logic, methods or opportunities and so on. It is up to us for utilizing the full capacity of brain power.
When the world does not do; What we want, and we feel unable to change our ideas, conflict arises in the form of defensiveness which is a tendency to unconsciously apply the strategies for preventing a troubling stimulus from entering consciousness. We either deny or distort what is happening, essentially refusing to accept reality to stick with our preconceived ideas. In doing so, we deny ourselves the full range of potential reactions, feelings, and ideas, and we dismiss a broad spectrum of options as wrong or inappropriate. The defensive feelings and thoughts are rise up in us when reality conflicts with our preconceptions create a limited, artificial interpretation of experience. To, actually participate in what the -ongoing process of organismic experience- we need to be fully open to new experience, and be complete without defensiveness -said by a noble price winner, Carl Rogers.
RATIONALITY
The rational thoughts are neither on extremes nor sticking to the bottom, but somewhere in the rationality line. The extreme views turn the rationality into zero. However, it would be beneficial for having ultimate good intentions and thoughts. The rationalization approach has proven to give the best outcome in making decisions of career, life partner or investments.
On the other hand, the irrational thinker may not consider the possibilities which can be disastrous for many, and that is why there is a significant role of rationality to play in every aspect of life including politics, society, science or faith. There is a catch in rationality where people draw the conclusion based on geographical domination or culture, for instance, someone says that such and such country's people are terrible which is an ardent incorrect conclusion without considering other possible scenarios in a holistic view.
There is goodness in everything as long as we are willing to see it and allowing our heart to hear it. There is extremism play role where the sheer goodness would bring bliss, instead of despair in wrong motives or intentions. A rational thinker can bring peace, comfort, and universal outcome.
"The majority of long-standing emotional problems are almost always due to irrational thinking. One of the most common ways in which irrationality occurs, Albert says, is the tendency to draw extreme conclusions, especially negative ones, about events." said by Albert Ellis who was recognized psychologist in the US.
For example, if a man who is an irrational thinker loses his job, to him it is not merely unfortunate, but awful. He believes that he is worthless because losing a job, and that he will never find another job. Irrational beliefs are illogical, extreme, damaging, and self-sabotaging because they cause unhealthy emotional consequences. Irrational thinking is -black and white- it stops an individual from recognizing the full spectrum of possible experience. Rational thinking creates the opposite effect and is based on tolerance and the ability to bear distress without assuming catastrophic negative conclusions, and is rooted in a belief in positive human potential. It is not to say one turns a blind eye to negative factors in factor naive, positive beliefs -rational thinking does acknowledge reasonable feelings of sorrow, guilt, and frustration. The sound thinker may lose his job; it may have even been his fault that he lost the job, but he knows he is not worthless, but he knows that rationality there is the possibility of another job. Rational thinking is balanced and always allows room for optimism and opportunities; it creates good emotional consequences. As Rollo mentioned, there are immense benefits after a long struggle with our processes if we take it commonly such as when we suppose to present ourselves at the prestigious ceremony, but our internal processes will create a barrier, which leads to depression or nervousness. In such a situation, if we take as a normal as we do other things in life, then success will be chasing behind us.
HAPPINESS
Being happy is the first step to make us self-positive being. It is not easy to be happy, but not impossible equally. The happiness is not an outcome of money, time, popularity, education, status or position. It merely comes from in the depth of heart the way our thinking takes shapes. There isn’t any mathematics or philosophy which will prescribe the formula for happiness.
"The key to happiness is discovering the true self," Socrates said.
In reality, we will never be happy if we are seeking in the wrong spot where we may be happy temporarily but not for the long term. Purchasing a car for staying happy for a few weeks and buy a house will make us happy for a few months. Do not think as we propose not to buy the house or car but we are searching and heading towards the wrong way for the destination of happiness, and that is a tendency and the path we usually follow. In order to find happiness, need a small thinking space, while leaving aside emotions and discover it within. After seeing the truth, our realization will come to a point, say madness that we were pursuing happiness.
"People who are happy during the initial experience learn the happy events better; angry people learn anger-provoking events better," Gordon H. Bower said.
We tend to react and change the attitude depending on the type of feeling we experience. Happy mood stores positive things, and unhappy mood accumulates negative things in memory. Good mood brings all good, happy and positive things in imagination and so, happy people get happier and happier.
AT THE END
Nothing is so complicated or improbable as long as willing to take on a positive way. Everything we mentioned above is tolerable and not too hard to accomplish which gives us more comfortability on pursuing the things that we can do without disturbing the daily routine. Any new things adoption will turn us in depression mode for a while, but later it relieves the months or years of calamities that we used to bear due to not having the things in order regarding thinking.
My mom used to say "it is okay to become nervous before the wrong decision made if there is a possibility of improvement rather than facing nervousness after got into troublesome for wrongdoing."
